Feels like Home

8. Dirty Little Secret

Nothing changed for Luca and I at school after our intimate encounter in my bedroom. I still sat with Jason and Heather at lunch, and he was still constantly surrounded by his adoring fans. We didn't acknowledge each other when we happened to make eye contact. We had an unspoken agreement that no one else would know.

That all changed after school hours. My parents continued to think that I went to Heather's, but I had been sneaking into Luca's house every school day for the past three weeks. Nancy, Luca's Mom, worked until seven most days, and Beau had basketball practice after school, so we could be alone. We lived close to school, so I would either walk there or catch a ride with Luca if we knew no one would see us.

We explored each other and were able to work out the awkwardness of our first time. "Spread your legs a little wider" "Go faster" "Slow down" "Grab it there". One day I spent twenty minutes stroking his penis, seeing what worked to bring him to the edge and then bringing him back, until my "research" was complete. The next day, he returned the favor.

I was finishing my homework one night when I heard something tap against my window. I thought it might be Luca and felt a warmth between my legs. We had seen each other a few hours earlier, but I'd learned there a few things more insatiable than a sixteen year old boy's libido.

It wasn't Luca, though. When I pulled my curtain aside, none other than Jason Torres was standing on my lawn, letterman jacket and all. I immediately did a self evaluation. My hair was in a messy bun, I had no makeup on and I was wearing a t-shirt three sizes too big. There was nothing I could do about that now considering Jason was motioning his hands to indicate he wanted me to join him outside. I knew my parents were sleeping, so I decided to sneak out the backdoor. I held up a finger to let him know I'd be down in a minute.

I couldn't begin to guess what he was doing here. Soon after he began sitting by me at lunch, he started texting me regularly; then texting turned into phone calls. He always tended to call while I was at Luca's, though, so I obviously hadn't been able to pick up the phone lately.

When I quietly shut the back door behind me, Jason was waiting for me. It wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm, either, so I wrapped my arms around myself. "Do you want my jacket?" Jason asked, already taking it off.

"That would be nice. I should have grabbed one," I said while sliding his on, it reached my mid-thigh. "But you kind of caught me off guard."

"Yeah I know. I haven't been able to get a hold of you lately." I suddenly recalled a text I got from him earlier, asking me to call him tonight. Shit. I had stayed at Luca's later than usual that day and completely forgot.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

"It's okay. I asked Heather what was going on because you seem kind of...distracted lately. She said you've been grounded." I recall the false story I had told her when she asked why I stopped coming over after school.

"Yeah...but you see me every day at school," I said, trying to change the subject from my lie.

"I know, but I wanted to talk to you...alone." Well that's interesting.

I didn't say anything, deciding to let him finish. He was shifting uncomfortably and looking down at his feet. He's nervous.

Jason was popular, gorgeous, and kind. I'd never seen him look uncomfortable or embarrassed before, it was endearing.

"I'm just going to blurt it out." He said, looking at me. "I like you, Shelley, like, a lot. I have for a long time, and I wanted to know if you would go to prom with me."

My mouth dropped to the floor. I was shocked, but ecstatic. This is what I had dreamed about since I was nine years old, but the first thing to pop into my brain was Luca.

We hadn't had any sort talk about what we were doing or what it meant. At first, I had told myself we were just "friends with benefits," but lately, I could no longer deny my feelings for him.

I looked at Jason now, and my heart skipped a beat. He had always had that effect on me. He started walking toward me, and I knew he wanted to kiss me by the look in his eyes. I was ashamed at the realization that I wanted to kiss him too. It almost felt like a betrayal to Luca, even though that was ridiculous.

We had never said we couldn't see other people, and he always had his arm around one girl or another at school. For all I knew, he was kissing a different girl every night after I went home.

When Jason was close, he put his hands in my hair and kissed me, slowly. I felt like I was flying, although I was unable to move. He backed away and looked at me pleadingly, begging me to say yes. I was voiceless.

"I'm sorry," he looked away, "I shouldn't have done that. I've just never seen you look so beautiful. I've wanted to kiss you for so long, I couldn't help it."

"No!" I said loudly, forgetting that it was late, and we were supposed to be quiet. "That was nice. I just..."

I couldn't tell him about Luca, so I lied. "I'm not sure if I will be ungrounded by then."

He looked disappointed. "Oh I see."

"Let me try to work on them," referring to my parents. I had to think quickly. "I'll see them both tomorrow after school, I'll plead and beg."

He lifted one side of his mouth. "Really? Will you let me know?"

"Of course."

He leaned in and brought his lips to mine one more time before backing away. I missed the feel of them already. "I better get going. My parents think I'm at the grocery store." He chuckled. I nodded.

"But Shelley, just know that I'll wait for you. If you can't go, I'm not going either. You're the only one I'd want to go with, anyway." I was officially swooning, getting lost in his brown eyes.

As I walked back to my room, my fingers kept reaching for my lips, praying that that wasn't just a dream.

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