[I lied.]
Dave woke up, alone. Of course none of it was real. Jack left him after Henry's fight, and he wouldn't be able to come back...even if he actually wanted to, that is. He felt the 'sun' shining on him, but instead of feeling warm, he just felt numb. He couldn't help but think about how pitiful he is. However, not even his self-deprecating thoughts could bring him to tears. He hadn't actually been able to cry since...however long he's been in his room.
He lost track of how many days had flown by him. He couldn't bother to anyway. What was the point in doing anything if no one actually cared about him anymore. He turned around in bed and looked at his hand, which had a ring on it. A reminder of what he had lost. He'd go and throw it somewhere far away from him, or even simply take it off, but he couldn't even muster up the strength to sit up. He looked back down and saw the name tag he was given.
He quickly shut his eyes since he'd already relived through that day many times over, and he sure as hell didn't want to now. He looked back at the window, where the dreadful colours of...pinks, yellows, and...oranges...resided. As far as he was concerned, the sun was just a reminder of another day that he was alone. Everyone else in their group had moved in with each other. They'd given up trying to contact him within the first week.
He laid his head back as if it would do anything to help. He could swear he could hear Henry laughing, for he had won. He'd won at continuing to torment Dave's life, somehow even after he'd died for good this time. Honestly, he'd have rather took a life where Henry still manipulated him but Jack lived, than...this. He asked himself, everyday, as to why him and not Jack had been able to have a happy ending.
He asked everyday as to why he couldn't trade places with Jack, because at least Jack would be with his family. At least he'd be happy and not being played like a pawn by a golden bear. He felt his throat tighten, as if getting ready to cry, but he knew nothing would come out. He sighed at the thought of even being able to feel anything. He'd even beg to be sad if that meant he could feel something and not hollow inside.
Perhaps he was being punished. Perhaps this was just an elaborate scheme to have lured him into a false sense of security as to break him even harder. Well, if that was the plan, then whoever carried out the plan did a damn good job at breaking his spirt. Maybe this is what Henry intended him to feel. Originally, he thought Henry messed up when making him 'heartless' as he could still feel strong emotions. But, now...
---
Yet again, Jack watched the man he'd spent so much time with wake up looking depressed. He felt a frown forming on his face. Is this all his doing? Had he inadvertently broken the one person who understood him the most? If only, he thought, if only he'd have thought of a way to ease his pain. But, what's done is done, and now he can only watch from afar, knowing Dave would never see him again. He closed his eyes to bring himself out of the moment.
He brought the hand with his ring up to his chest and tried to breathe. He felt the suffocating air of this place surround him. Although it was the last thing he wanted to do, he had to leave and recollect himself. But, he couldn't bring himself to. He found himself staring at the scene in front of him, unable to move from it. He wanted so desperately to be able to reach out and grab Dave's hand, but it wouldn't do anything.
He shook his head and closed his eyes again, trying hopelessly to do anything to calm himself. But, just as he had any resemblance of organized thoughts, he realized how selfish he was. He'd left Dave by himself without giving him much comfort, and now he was watching said man while only caring about his own thoughts. He just felt so exhausted and tired of this. Soon, he looked back at what Dave was doing.
He was still laying down, eyes closed, but he was visibly still awake. Jack reached his hand out, beside himself, and gently rubbed Dave's back. It did nothing, but he could swear Dave looked calmer. He continued, mostly for Dave, but also a little for himself. Dave almost looked at ease, but still not fully calm. But there's no way he could feel Jack because if he did, he'd surely have had looked behind to the hand by now.
Then, he moved his hand to test if Dave could really feel it...but he didn't seem to notice. That killed any hope Jack may have falsely believed in. He sighed and placed his hand back on Dave's back. Now, he was only doing this for himself. Even if Dave couldn't feel it, it made Jack's subconscious feel better. He closed his eyes and imagined like Dave could feel him. Even scenarios where Dave simply touched his back were enough for Jack.
He opened his eyes, not expecting anything. He'd made no progress, and there was virtually nothing he could do now. And, just as he expected, nothing did happen. Dave was still facing away from him and didn't bother to move at all. He slowly pulled his hand away, for real this time. He brought it back up to his face and carefully inspected it, perhaps simply to bring his mind off the situation. He tried to memorize ever single detail, perhaps distracting himself was the solution.
---
[hurt no comfort my beloved. if there's any other writing below this, then I finally cracked and made a happy ending]
no comfort here, fuck you❤ /lighthearted
