Spilled Yarn

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"I couldn't ask for another. No, I couldn't ask for anotherrrr. Groove is in the hooooouse." Nick's surprisingly high pitched voice comes blaring through the bathroom door.
   "Mommy, what's that nwoise?" Frances scrunches up her tiny nose.
   Jess laughs and explains, "That's your dad practicing for his concert later today."
   "Really?? He's not very good though," Reginald declares, coming out of his and Frances' room.
   "I can hear you!" Nick yells from the shower, and Jess giggles and ushers Reggie and Frances away from the bathroom. Jess follows Reginald into the bedroom, collecting his dirty laundry. She stops when she sees red yarn strewn across the floor, draped over several stuffed animals.
   "Reggie! What's my rule?" Jess exclaims at the mess.
   "Don't steal your yarn." Reginald mumbles, looking down.
   "Don't steal my yarn! You know I am more than happy to help you with a craft project, but you need my permission to use it! How did you even reach the top section of my craft wagon?"
   "...I sorta climbed your bookshelf." Reggie winces at Jess' face.
   "Reginald VelJohnson Miller-Day! I can't believe this! Did your dad put you up to this?" Jess shakes her head sternly.
   "Nuh uh," Reggie insists.
   "Reginald..." Jess presses.
   "Well he did say I should pick it up before you came home from school..." Reggie admits, shrugging guiltily.
   "Ugh, I can't believe him! Niiiiiick!" Jess spins on her heels and power walks over to the bathroom. She knocks loudly, tapping her foot when Nick keeps on singing.
   "Nick!! When you're done in the shower we need to talk." She says through the door, and he pauses on 'the chills that you spill down my back'.
   "Am I in trouble?" Nick yells back. Jess rolls her eyes and walks away. "Come on Jess! I didn't know fish wasn't supposed to be microwaved! They should teach you that!"
   Once Nick dries off, he joins Jess in their room.
   "I swear, I didn't know about the fish." Nick insists when he sees the look on Jess' face.
   "What, no, that not what I'm... wait what? What did you do?" Jess stares at Nick in confusion.
   "Oh. Um, never mind." Nick quickly backtracks. "What did you want to talk about?"
   "So, I found Reggie using my yarn, and apparently you let him?" Jess accuses.
   "Oh, he said he would put it away." Nick chuckles. "It was pretty cool though, wasn't it?"
   "I couldn't even tell what it was, it just looked like a mess of my yarn." Jess glares at Nick when he laughs.
   "It was a reenactment of the scene at the fish morgue in Pepperwood! He needed the yarn for the blood, and the stuffed animals were Pepperwood and Schmith. Cool, right?" Nick grins at Jess, but she doesn't smile back.
   "Nick, it's fine that he's being creative, but it's not fine that you let him break one of the rules." Jess sighs, rubbing her temples.
   "Look, I'm sorry I let him use the yarn Jess, but it's not really that big of a deal." Nick defends himself, shrugging indignantly.
   "It's not just this though! You let Reggie do whatever he wants, it's like the rules don't even apply to him."
   "That's not true! Just yesterday, I made sure he ate all his broccoli! I don't even like broccoli either!" Nick explains proudly.
   "In just the last week, you let him stay up an hour past his bedtime, you didn't stop him from using crayons to draw on his wall, and you bet he couldn't climb that huge tree! He could have fallen and seriously hurt himself!" Jess lists off, fuming slightly.
   "He didn't fall though, and the drawing was super cool!" Nick is still is wearing a slightly goofy expression.
   "Nick! Come on, you're supposed to be the adult, you need to be a good example." As soon as Jess says Nick's name in her angry, clipped tone without the k, he knows it's serious. But when she continues, his smile immediately vanishes, and he feels a spike of hurt in his chest.
   "You... you don't think I'm a good example?" Jess can clearly hear the pain in Nick's voice, and she softens slightly.
   "I'm not saying that, you just need to be a little more mature with things like climbing trees and drawing on walls." She reaches for his hand to show that she doesn't want to fight, but Nick pulls away.
   "No Jess, you just said you don't think I'm a good role model. I know we have different values, but I thought we were over this!"
   Jess hesitates, almost like she knows where he's going with this and wants to draw him back. "...Over what?"
   "You not believing in me, and thinking I'm not mature enough! First it was I 'didn't have a plan for my life', now I'm 'too childish to parent'?" Nick spews out, and visibly deflates as soon as the words escape. Jess freezes like a deer caught in headlights, and stares at Nick.
   "Nick... come on. Let's not do this again." She says softly.
   "Come on what? You brought it up, now I'm happy to dive in." Nick takes a breath, then continues. "I'm tired of you never thinking I'm good enough for whatever fantasy ideals you have. I'm not something you can just control to do what you want! I'm a real person, and sometimes it feels like that's not good enough for you!" Nick gets up from the bed and storms out the the room, leaving Jess sitting on the bed head in her hands.
                                      ***
   Nick angrily chucks groceries in the basket, still fuming from the argument. He can't believe after all these years, Jess still wants to 'fix' him! Can't she just accept who he is?
   Soon, Nick gets everything on the list, but he doesn't want to go back home just yet. He decides to stay out a little longer, and gets in the car.
   At home, Jess is anxiously trying to get Reggie to his play date, and Frances to her dance class. Once they are finally dropped off, she slumps on the couch, sighing. Nick's words play on repeat in her head, echoing every time she has a moment to herself. She thought after all these years they wouldn't get into fights about the same old things, but boy did they know how to push each other's buttons. That darn Miller. She shakes her head fondly, and smiles when she sees their framed wedding photo hanging on the wall. Jess needs to clear her head, and with the kids away, she knows the perfect spot.
   Nick sits on the familiar park bench, the sun glaring down at him. He looks around, but Tran is no where to be found. He sighs, this one he'll have to solve himself. Well, not by himself, he has Jess. Nick decides to go to different special location, and heads on over.
   Jess is almost there, and she smiles happily. Every time her and Nick have a fight, as soon as they're out of the heat of the moment, whatever they were fighting about doesn't seem nearly as important. She turns the corner and sees the dark green bushes come into view.
   Nick sits on the grass, watching the projected movie. All around him, couples are all snuggled up, and he wishes Jess was next to him. He turns back to the movie, and sees Jess walking towards- Wait why is Jess here? Did he just summon her with his mind?
   Jess says numerous excuse mes as she threads through the crowd. She sees an open spot on the grass, and is about to sit down when she sees Nick. She looks at him, confused, but when they make eye contact she heads over.
   "Jess! What are you doing here!" Nick exclaims, surprised.
   "I could say the same for you!" Jess grins slightly. She settles down next to Nick, and turns her attention to the movie. "I wish they were playing dirty dancing again," Jess giggles.
   "They played dirty dancing here?" Nick asks, looking at Jess.
   "Nick, they played it when you proposed! You don't remember?"
   "No, no, I never even noticed! I was too busy trying to lie to you about the restaurant and your dad." Nick chuckles at the memory. Jess smiles, and looks into his eyes.
   "Look, Nick... I'm sorry about what I said. You're a great father, and you're right. Sometimes I forget I can't control everything, ya know? Our parenting styles are definitely different, but Reggie is lucky to have such a caring, fun dad as you."
   "You mean that?" Nick squeezes Jess' hand, and when she nods he grins. "You are also right though, sometimes I am too immature around Reggie. It's just, he's such a fun kid, and I want to give him as many fun memories with his dad as I can, to make up for the lack of my own memories." Nick sighs, and looks at Jess. "And what you said about not being a good role model really hit home. When Reggie was born, I was having major doubts about being a good dad."
                                        ***
    Nick paces up and down the hospital hallway, anxiously trying to peer through the frosted glass that separates him from Jess.
   "Schmidt, when can I go in there?! I'm freaking out man! What do I do? I want to be there with Jess, I'm going to be a terrible dad, and I'm scared of those big needles I'm pretty sure they use," Nick rambles, and continues to pace.
   "Uh, Nick? What was that?" Schmidt jerks his head up, staring at Nick.
   "I'm scared of those big needles I'm pretty sure they use. Or do they not use them? I don't know actually, but they're scary." Nick repeats, closing and unclosing his fist.
   "Not that, you buffoon! Did you just say you're going to be a  terrible dad??" Schmidt basically yells at Nick, and Cece shushes him.
   "Uh, did I? I don't really remember..." Nick trails off, avoiding eye contact.
   Schmidt walks over to wear Nick is pacing, and guides him into a chair. "Nick, it's fine to be scared. Just let it out man, come on." Schmidt makes a flowing motion with his arms, and Nick gives him a weird look.
   "What are you, a yoga instructor?"
   "Nick..." Schmidt pushes him to open up, and Nick sighs.
   "Schmidty, how am I going to be a dad? How am I going to be a good role model for my kid when not only was my dad not there for me, I can barely take care of myself! What makes you think I will be able to remind him to brush his teeth twice a day??" Nick lets out a huge breath and slumps in the chair.
   "Nick, I can't think of a time you weren't there to support me and encourage me to be my best self. You're going to be there for your kid, because you've always been there for me." Schmidt smiles at Nick.
   "You really mean that?" Nick looks up at Schmidt, smiling back hesitantly.
   "Of course I do." Schmidt insists, and quickly leans over and pecks Nick on the lips.
   "Schmidt! Get off, you idoit! You ruined it!" Nick yells, shoving him away.
                                      ***
   "Nick! I had no idea you felt that way!" Jess exclaims.
   "Ya, well, I didn't want you to think I was having second thoughts." Nick admits, taking her hand. "But as soon as I held baby Reggie in my arms, and saw his tiny button nose and chubby fingers, all of that faded away. All I was thinking about in that moment was how I would do everything I could to be what my father never was."
   Jess gazes adoringly at Nick. "I always knew you'd be a great dad. You know why?" She asks.
   "Why?" Nick asks, smiling.
   "Because no matter what, you were always there for me. And I knew it would be the same for our children." Jess tells him, leaning in for a kiss.
   "It's true, I would do anything for the people I love." Nick kisses her back, and Dirty Dancing begins to play behind them.

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