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it's been a month ever since your closest friends left you.
it was like a sudden emptiness overcame you. after losing all your friends, you felt weird. you cried the first few nights after the argument, but after, you felt weird. an unexplainable feeling washed over you.
you wanted to gaslight yourself into thinking you were perfectly fine. you wanted to pretend that maybe you didn't need them in your life anyway; that you were too good for them. deep down you knew that wasn't true.
they say, "money can't buy you happiness," but why do you feel happy when you go shopping with baizhu? you cant tolerate baizhu, no. but you can tolerate him when he pays for all your things.
you knew better than anyone else that your happiness was only temporary. after you came home from a shopping mall, you'd be mentally worn out. of course, you were happy with your purchases. but that can't get your old friendships back, can it?
it's been a weekly thing. every weekend, you and baizhu would go to different shopping malls and he'd buy you anything you wanted. a part of you feels guilty you're using him for his money, but you don't care. you'd always tell yourself, "he deserves this," in hopes to excuse your actions.
baizhu probably knows your motives, but he doesn't seem to care. he just wants you back— and he thinks spoiling you will win you back.
will it?
no. it will not.
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