The Punishment Diaries

Oops, I Did It Again.

A criticism I once received was that I never learn my lesson. Wrex can punish me to tears, and I'll just turn around and do it again.

They're not wrong. But maybe they just don't understand the point of my dynamic.

Punishments aren't about teaching me a lesson that I'll remember forever. It's not about correcting behavior permanently. I'm human. I make mistakes, and I will continue to make mistakes.

And some of those mistakes were designed for me to make intentionally. That's where our brat dynamic comes in. But our DD isn't about intentional rule-breaking. It's about following the rules, or suffering the consequences.

The rules can be ones I asked for to help support me in a self-improvement endeavor. Those rules don't last forever. And it's still my responsibility to do the work. Wrex just enjoys giving me that extra push, and I am thankful for it.

The rules can also be common sense. We have a lot of common sense domestic rules, like locking the door or not leaving the car on E. Mistakes that I never mean to do, but I still get punished for when I do it.

And do I learn my lesson in either case?

Yes, and no. Let me explain.

During the act of punishment, I am definitely learning a lesson. And it leaves an impact that I remember for some time. I understand what I did and I don't want to do it again. I want the punishment to end.

At the end, I'm glad it happened. Because I feel absolved. I feel cared for and loved. And being punished is incredibly erotic for both of us.

Our DD dynamic is like knowing your partner isn't wearing underwear under that dress. Just having our dynamic in place and knowing that I could be punished by him, and him knowing that he can punish me—it's like an aphrodisiac. It keeps our marriage spicy.

And it's like a superpower for moving past issues. Instead of holding resentment or not feeling heard, we have a way to move through problems efficiently and erotically while both of us are heard loud and clear.

But those lessons don't last forever. I'm not a robot he can program with one spanking or rice-kneeling session. And how boring would that be if he could?

He's not trying to fix me or make me perfect. And I never asked for that.

Our dynamic is about expressing our love for each other. The way we express our love isn't a blueprint for anyone else. We built our dynamic with intention and time and a deep understanding of each other's needs and boundaries.

I will never be perfect. I'll never have all my shit together. I might always be a bit of a manic mess with endless projects and not enough time to do them. I'll forget my common sense from time to time.

I'll learn my lesson. But I'll probably do it again. And that's okay.