sixty five.

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2016.

I don't have vivid memories of me fainting during my childhood, but this last week has made up for it. I've fainted twice within the past six days. Google and my doctor said the same thing; anxiety is my problem. It's crazy what your mind can do to your physical well-being given enough stress.

And I've been stressed recently.

"When I was younger, I wanted to run away because I thought my mother hated me."

The smell of the ocean hits me with nostalgia as I climb onto Harry while he lays in a lounge chair, shirtless in his glory. He cocks an eyebrow in amusement after my statement.

I've just finished explaining to him that my mother has a lot of reasons to hate me. I have never been the princess of a person that she wishes I was. I've always gone against anything she says because she stands for everything I don't believe in. But more recently, I was left more in my dad's will than she was.

I'll spare all the details but one. A yacht. Although it was left to me and Quinn, I didn't see her getting into yet another heated argument with him about how much of a bitch he is. No, that she took out on me, said how I've always been ungrateful and deserve the bare minimum of dad's inheritance. To be truthful, I'm choosing to blame her rage on the fact that she just lost her husband. I don't want to remember two days after burying my father to be the day I also buried speaking rights with my mother, so I'm pretending it didn't happen.

Back to what I was saying. Father dearest had a small yacht, which we used to use every summer when I was younger, sometimes to go to one of the islands nearby over a certain period of time. This yacht is the reason I attained a boating licence at fifteen, a small fact about myself Harry only discovered today.

"Where'd you want to run away to?" Harry doesn't let me continue because he's curious and impatient.

I lay my body flat against his and rest my face in the crook of his neck. I'm grateful Kenny and Emma went to take pictures on the beach because they'd be making fun of us right now.

"Okay, this is a lot to unpack and I'm probably going to tell you five different stories before I even get to the main one." I get lost in tracing one of the swallows on his collarbone. "I first thought she hated me in 2003, right around Christmas time. She had this tendency of forgetting me at home because she would do this thing where she acted as though I didn't exist because looking at my face she saw Lily and not me. It was the only time I hated that we were identical.

"We were supposed to go to our family-friend's house for dinner, my mum was supposed to take me and meet my brother and dad there, but she forgot me at home because she was in one of those moods."

"She forgot you?"

"Yes." I answer him with a sigh. That night was one of the initial reasons I became such an independent person.

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