Instagram love story [English version]

23.

I still haven't talked to Harry. I just couldn't, I was too scared. Liam, Zayn and Niall have told me many times to just talk to him. Yet, I don't.

And even if I wanted to talk, I didn't know if Harry wanted to talk after two whole days of not talking to him. And probably because I ran out of the room after we kissed. And you wonder why? Because all my life I've had to hear how disgusting people were for being gay or bi or whatever. Then I literally got kicked out, because I told my mother that I was bisexual. I knew at that very moment that I shouldn't tell her, but my stupid younger me did it anyways.

So, yeah. I just couldn't talk to Harry, it wasn't an option.

But I decided that I really needed to talk to him, even if it doesn't turn out well. It was horrible to not talk to him for two whole days, but I was to afraid that I would say anything stupid. But after putting all my own problems and thought aside, I finally came to the conclusion to just talk to him.

Right now, I'm in the music room. The boys have it in their house because - of course - they're music artists.

It's weird that I went there tho. I never played any instruments and I didn't really sing. But I just had this feeling when I walked past the room. I can't really explain it, so I won't.

I'm sitting by the piano, my fingers sliding over the keys. I get a melody in my head and start playing it. I've never played the piano before, but it just kinda happens. A text pops into my head as well, and I started to sing.

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up

Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh
You say I am yours
And I believe
Oh, I believe
What You say of me
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything you think of me
In You I find my worth, in you I find my identity
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh
You say I am yours
And I believe
Oh, I believe
What You say of me
Oh, I believe

Taking all I have, and now I'm laying it at your feet
You have every failure, God
You have every victory
Ooh-oh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short When I don't belong, oh
You say I am Yours
And I believe
Oh, I believe
What You say of me
I believe

Oh, I believe
Yes, I believe
What You say of me
I believe

"Lou," I hear softly behind me. I quickly turn around and I see Harry standing in the opening of the door, with tears in his eyes.

He walks over to me and immediately wraps his arms around me. At first I didn't hug him back and wanted him to let go, but I knew that I couldn't get him to let go, so I wrapped my arms around him too. And after a second I leaned in completely.

"You are so strong Louis. Still smiling after everything you've been through? I couldn't," he says. I get a small smile on my face.

"I- sorry about yesterday. I should have stayed and we would have talked it out," I say, feeling ashamed.

"Lou, I get you. You don't like me the way that I do and that's fine. But please, can we stay friends? I missed you," he says, almost begging me to accept his apology.

"No, Harry."

"Oh," he says, looking like a kicked puppy.

"I don't want to be just friends. I want more than that," I continue. And after that I press my lips against his. 

Our lips move in sync with each other, like we are made for each other.

After a while, I pull away.

"I'm sorry Harry for giving you the wrong impression. It's just- my mother." And that's all I manage to say before the tears begin to flow.

I never cried much. I never wanted to cry. Crying was weak. But now I can't hold it in anymore.

Harry pulls me back into a tight hug.

When I've calmed down a bit, I let go of him. Harry rubs my cheek gently. "I understand Lou, that's why I understand why you don't want to start something now. But I'm waiting for you," he says, which really puts a big smile on his face.

I press my lips gently against his again. "Thank you." I say softly.

"Shall we watch a movie? You can really use the rest," Harry says and I nod vigorously. Harry laughs softly and we walk towards the living room, leaving the music room.