Instagram love story [English version]

29.

WARNING SUÏCIDE THOUGHTS

I slowly wake up and immediately feel how much my stomach hurts. I've been lying in the same spot for months now. I'm not doing anything. Nothing. Just lying there, waiting for death. It takes a long time, way too long.

I've been here for over 3 months now. I don't eat anything, I don't walk. All I do is sleep.

I just want to die. Why can no one understand that! I've been beaten up quite a few times here and I'm still not dead. And I can't jump of a bridge, because I'm too scared. I can't kill myself.

Harry is still not out of my mind. Every day I think about him. I miss him. I had actually hoped that he would look for me. But that's just stupid to think, I left because I couldn't see Harry anymore so I can't hope for him to come look for me.

But that's how I thought a month ago, now on this moment I realize I shouldn't have left. But I can't go back. I'm too weak. I can't walk anymore. I can't do anything anymore.

Yet at this moment I got the courage to go look for him. I have to find him before I die. I have to tell him I love him.

For a long time, I didn't want to say that word. I never wanted anyone to love me and I didn't want to love anybody, they let me down anyway. But then came Harry, everything changed since I met Harry. I feel safe with him. I want to be with him forever. But I realized that way too late. Now I'm almost at my end, but I get up, which I succeeded after a little staggering. I take a good look around and start walking. I can't walk fast, but I'm coming forward.

I'm going to do everything I can to tell Harry I love him. Before I come to my end.