BEAUTIFUL

002

yoongi tapped the cigarette, watching with tired eyes as ashes fluttered down to the cement porch. he leaned on the railing, gazing out at the courtyard as he inhaled the smoke.

"i thought you quit," came a voice from behind him. yoongi turned, despite already knowing who it was.

he flashed a grin, taking another long drag and blowing the smoke in the boy's face. "and why do you care, park jimin? you haven't cared about what i do since last december."

jimin gritted his teeth. he'd come out to the porch to have some time to himself, not to talk with his ex. "i don't care, that's where you're wrong." he looked away from yoongi and tried to ignore the smoke constantly blowing in his direction.

yoongi just scoffed. "whatever helps you sleep at night." he tossed the cigarette to the ground and stamped it out, tossing jimin a last sarcastic grin before walking back inside the clinic. jimin sighed, flopping into a plastic lawn chair and tucking his legs to his chest.

his eyes trailed over the green space, the only source of anything lively and bright at the rehab clinic. flowers of all kinds grew in the gardens and the few benches were usually occupied by patients looking for a place to sit in peace. jimin's eyes found hoseok sitting on one of these benches, looking thoughtful. ever since the brunette had approached their table a few days ago, jimin had been curious about him. he wondered what it was that brought hoseok to the clinic jimin had called home for nearly two years now.

clearing his mind, jimin let himself drift into a restless sleep, content to just rest his eyes before his free time was over.

✧

hoseok breathed in the fresh air as he relaxed on the bench. the pleasant surroundings were comforting, a nice change from the plain interiors of the clinic. he decided this would be his safe place, somewhere he could come when the clinic got too much.

hoseok let his thoughts drift to his first group therapy session, from two days ago when he'd first met jimin and his friends.

"so, everyone, we have a new friend with us. why don't we give him a warm welcome? hoseok, please tell us a little about yourself, as much as you're comfortable."

dr. kim, or namjoon as he'd told hoseok to call him, seemed to be a nice enough therapist. he had dimples that appeared anytime he smiled, which was fairly often. as far as hoseok could tell, he seemed to really care about his patients.

"um, i'm jung hoseok, i'm 22 and i-i..."

"it's okay, hoseok. take your time." namjoon smiled warmly, and hoseok nodded as he breathed shakily.

"i have a-anorexia and bulimia." hoseok rushed out, ducking his head, not wanting to see the faces of the group when he said those words that had made his parents cry. when the doctor back home had given the jungs hoseok's diagnosis, they felt responsible, that they hadn't been there for their son and noticed he was going through something so major.

"thank you for sharing, hoseok. would it be alright if we went around and introduced ourselves to hoseok? just keep it simple, alright? and no funny business," namjoon said, seeming to look directly at a platinum haired boy as he said the last part.

as the others introduced themselves, hoseok found there were others like him, as well as several who had disorders he'd never even heard of. eventually the introductions got around to jimin, who was sitting across the room from hoseok.

"park jimin. 21. bpd. but hoseok hyung already met me," the short boy grinned once it was his turn.

beside him, taehyung was playing with the hem of his shirt. not noticing jimin was already finished, he seemed to be lost in his own world, until namjoon cleared his throat. "oh, is it my turn? kim taehyung, also 21, ptsd." he looked back down, picking at the rips in his jeans.

hoseok couldn't help but be a little surprised at these revelations. for jimin and taehyung to be dealing with such heavy issues, it almost seemed unlikely. hoseok didn't know much about bpd, but he did have an grandfather who had ptsd from fighting in the war. he couldn't help but wonder what trauma taehyung had suffered to end up in here.

"so, why don't we start today's session with discussing how we're feeling? has anything happened since our last session?" namjoon raised his brow, looking around the room. "why don't we start with ji-"

the door slammed open, and hoseok jerked his head to see a familiar blonde boy stalk in and take a seat in an empty chair close to namjoon. "ah, yoongi, thank you for joining us. we have a newcomer, could you do a quick introduction?" namjoon gestured to hoseok, who reddened and tried to hide his face in his sleeves.

yoongi looked up, seeing the boy hide away at the attention. "min yoongi. 23. i wanna die. nice to meet you." his tone was void of any humour, but a small smirk tugged at his lips. hoseok peeked up at the elder, waving slightly.

satisfied, namjoon proceeded to ask people about how they were doing, and hoseok tuned out. he felt somebody's stare boring holes in the side of his head, but he was beyond terrified to look up and make eye contact with the blonde.

when it was finally time to leave, hoseok eagerly rose from his plastic chair and headed for the door, only to feel a cold hand grasp his wrist. hoseok whipped his head back to meet the steady gaze of min yoongi. "w-what do you want?"

"i never got your name."

"h-hoseok."

yoongi smiled. "welcome to the looney bin, hoseok." he let go of the boy's wrist and walked past him out of the room, leaving a stunned hoseok behind to wonder at what had just happened.

"just ignore him, 'kay? he's just a douche." jimin had approached him, a harsh glare following the blonde boy who'd just walked out.

hoseok woke from his daydream, feeling a hand poke at his ribs. "ah, you're alive."

the brunette sat up and rubbed his eyes, blinking. "jeongguk?"

"so. you got eating disorders?" the younger sat down on the bench, looking at the garden.

"uh, yeah? i guess?"

jeongguk laughed. "you guess? you either do or you don't, hoseok hyung."

"hyung?" hoseok tipped his head to the side. "how old are you anyway?" he knew jeongguk was there during group but hadn't paid attention when it was his turn.

"nineteen," said jeongguk simply.

"you're just a kid! what the hell are you doing in here?" hoseok exclaimed.

"same as you, i guess. parents just got tired of seeing me starve myself."

hoseok was stunned as how
easily jeongguk talked about his eating disorder. he himself avoided any discussion of it, not wanting to entertain the thought that he had a disorder, something wrong with him.

because hoseok craved perfection, and if he had a disorder, he couldn't be perfect.