BEAUTIFUL

005

eventually, hoseok began to feel almost at home in the clinic.

of course, that didn't change the fact that he didn't believe he needed any treatment. hoseok simply had gotten comfortable living at the clinic. he enjoyed spending lunch periods with jimin, taehyung and jeongguk, and he would sometimes accompany them to the lounge to play video games. there had already been several almost-fights over intense competitions of mario kart and wii sports.

namjoon had officially started hoseok on a treatment plan, consisting of regular meetings with him, taking medication, and meetings with a nutritional counsellor. he was less than thrilled to start taking meds, but something about namjoon just made hoseok want to follow his instructions.

it was probably the dimples.

so on monday morning, a week after he arrived in the clinic, hoseok shuffled up to the medicine distribution desk. after giving his name to the smiling nurse, hoseok was handed a plastic cup with a little white pill inside. "have a nice day!" the nurse beamed. hoseok looked at the tag on the males shirt. baekhyun. hoseok waved as he walked away. he stopped by the cafeteria to grab a bottle of water to wash the pill down, and then made his way back to his room. he didn't have a session with namjoon until ten thirty, and it was only eight now. he had time to himself.

"no! get the fuck away from me!"

hoseok sat up immediately upon hearing the shout. he swung his legs off the bed and stood, walking out of his room still clad in socks, his plaid pajama pants and a hoodie that was huge on his thin frame. hoseok shuffled down the hall, following the sound of muffled cries and occasional shrieks for someone to get away.

he stopped outside a room with the door ajar, and looked around for a moment before peeking his head in. his eyes widened.

taehyung was in the corner of the room, on the floor with his knees tucked up against his chest and rocking back and forth softly. hoseok couldn't see his face very well but he could hear the boy crying as two nurses, one of which he recognized to be jin, tried to comfort him. but every time either of them reached out, taehyung would scream and back away, shrinking into himself. "don't, d-don't touch m-me!"

hoseok was just trying to get a better look when he accidentally pushed the door open wider, creating a loud creaking noise. jin whipped his head around and saw him, a strange look in his eyes. "hoseok, you shouldn't be here. go back to your room."

the brunette bit his lip, unable to tear his eyes away from his distressed friend. "can... can i try to help?" jin gave him a weird look. "i'm his friend, maybe that will help," hoseok tried to explain.

jin sighed. "only since nothing we do seems to be working. it's especially bad this time. usually he calms himself down by now. he isn't very open with his trauma, so we have to be careful around him," jin explained as he stepped aside to let hoseok get closer.

hoseok kneeled down in front of taehyung, careful to keep a safe enough distance not to upset his friend. he tried to remember how he would sometimes talk to his grandfather.

"hey, taehyung-ah. it's hoseok hyung. i'm here with you and nobody is going to hurt you," he spoke in a soft voice, watching as taehyung stilled upon hearing him speak. "i just wanna help you, okay? you trust me right?"

after receiving a small nod from taehyung, hoseok beamed. "good. i'm glad, taehyung. i trust you too. is it okay if i touch you, or does that make you uncomfortable?" he wanted to hug the younger, figuring a comforting embrace would help. that's what hoseok always wanted during anxiety attacks.

taehyung licked his lips, a habit of his hoseok had noticed recently. "o-okay," he stuttered out in a small voice. hoseok slowly and carefully leaned forward and gently wrapped his arms around taehyung, letting the smaller rest his head on hoseok's shoulder. the elder softly ran his hands through taehyung's messy hair, playing with the soft caramel locks. "i'm here, if you ever need me. you don't have to go through this alone. and don't forget jimin and jeongguk care about you, too, alright? we're all here for you and want to help you."

after taehyung had calmed down, hoseok gently stood and guided the younger to his feet. jin stepped forward and smiled kindly, "ready to go get your meds, taehyung-ah? then you can have breakfast, okay?"

taehyung nodded and grasped onto jin's arm as the nurse led him out of the room. hoseok sighed in relief that the event was over and couldn't help but congratulate himself for being able to calm his friend down. he'd never had anybody other than his mom to help him through anxiety attacks, but most of the time he had them when she wasn't around. he'd always been alone.

that's why he had to be beautiful.

✧

taehyung didn't show up to group that afternoon.

at lunch hoseok had chatted with jimin and jeongguk, this time taehyung being the quiet one picking at his food. nobody bothered to ask why taehyung was upset, although jimin came close to accidentally blurting something rude and jeongguk had to kick his hyung under the table in order to shut him up.

when the bell rang taehyung got up and threw the contents of his tray out, disappearing out of the cafeteria before either of the three could say anything.

jimin and jeongguk shared glances, while hoseok just kept quiet. the three of them made their way to group, jimin cracking jokes to lighten the mood.

namjoon started the session in his usual fashion, the gathered patients either speaking little or choosing to remain silent.

eventually the psychiatrist got frustrated with the lack of communication and ended up dismissing them early. hoseok happily followed his friends to the lounge, where they were slightly surprised to find taehyung watching a sitcom.

"tae! wanna play video games with us?" jimin brightened at the sight of his friend.

taehyung smiled his signature box smile at jimin, which made the elder all fluttery inside, not that he would ever admit it. hoseok watched amusedly as the two situated themselves on the couch, pressed so close together that they were actually only sitting on one cushion. he made a mental note to ask jimin and taehyung, separately, obviously, if they liked each other.

hoseok and jeongguk joined the two on the couch, maintaining a normal distance from each other as they all retrieved controllers and turned on the game console. the game that was already loaded was super mario, which the four played often.

hoseok wanted to let himself feel happy. he felt for the first time in years, that he had people that actually liked him for who he was. but a small voice in the back of his head reminded him that they only liked him because they didn't know the real him, the worthless hoseok everyone threw to the curb.

you're right, hoseok answered the voice, his eyes focused on jimin and taehyung, two people who were very close, could absolutely trust each other and cared about each other immensely.

he could never have that.

at least, not until he was perfect.