BEAUTIFUL

007

the rest of the day passed by mostly uneventfully. after yoongi finally calmed down, hoseok practically carried him back to the younger's room. yoongi had mumbled something about not wanting to be around his roommate, so hoseok decided to go to his room. the two spent the afternoon cuddled up on hoseok's bed, a thin blanket over their legs as they watched movies hoseok had stolen from the lounge.

they didn't go to group or anything; hoseok had explained to namjoon what happened and the doctor had basically excused them for the day, knowing yoongi would benefit from spending time with hoseok: yoongi rarely talked to anybody in the center and closed himself off, so seeing that he was opening up to hoseok was a miracle to namjoon.

✧

hoseok stirred as he felt the grip on his shirt tighten. slowly he cracked his eyes open, a head of blonde hair the first thing he noticed. yoongi was softly snoring on hoseok's chest, hands clutching the younger's shirt.

he couldn't help but smile at the sight; min yoongi was cuddling with him.

a quiet whimper left yoongi's lips as he suddenly jerked, and hoseok realized he was dreaming. he gently laid a hand on yoongi's head and played with the strands, lightly rubbing his scalp. "hey, hyung. wake up, it's just a dream," hoseok whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of yoongi's head without even thinking about it.

it didn't take long for the elder to start waking, slowly lifting his head to look up at hoseok with half-lidded eyes. "was i dreaming?" he asked in a voice rough from sleep.

hoseok just nodded, pulling the smaller close to him, higher up on the bed so his head was resting in the crook of hoseok's shoulder rather than on his stomach. the hand that was playing in yoongi's hair moved to gently rub at the elder's back in a soothing pattern. yoongi stared at the small television mounted to the wall, the end credits of whatever movie scrolling down the screen. he let out a yawn, stretching his entire body before curling right back into hoseok's embrace.

only a few seconds later, yoongi was left pouting as hoseok gently pulled away and stood up, walking over to his closet. "sorry, hyung. it's just that i'm not very comfy in jeans."

the younger pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants from his closet, before closing the doors again. turning his back to yoongi, hoseok started to pull off his jeans. yoongi stared as hoseok tugged his pants down, something in his heart breaking when he saw the taller male's thin legs. they should be so much more muscular, yoongi thought.

as hoseok bent over to step out of the jeans, his white shirt rode up and exposed his emaciated stomach. yoongi swallowed harshly; he could count hoseok's ribs if he wanted to.

the elder slowly got up and shuffled over to hoseok, who was oblivious to his movement and had by now stood back up and was pulling up his sweats. yoongi walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around hoseok, leaning his head on his back. the younger stiffened as yoongi placed his hands on hoseok's stomach, running his fingers over the sharp, protruding bones.

"how could you ever hurt yourself like this?" yoongi's voice was hardly above a whisper, but hoseok didn't need it to be any louder.

"i've always felt i had to," he answered honestly.

as they stood there, hoseok heard quiet sniffling behind him and his heart sank. turning around, he wrapped his hyung into a hug, yoongi burying his head in hoseok's neck. "you need to stop, hoseok. i-i didn't know it was this bad."

hoseok didn't say anything, biting his lip as yoongi clutched his shirt.

hoseok had never stopped to think about how his actions affected the people he cared about. he'd always been in it for himself, striving for that idea of perfection he saw constantly on television and in the media. hoseok just wanted to be beautiful, how could that possibly make anyone sad?

but now, as he held a sobbing min yoongi in his arms, hoseok realized that maybe there was something wrong with him.

and that only made him hate himself more.