Halfway There | COMPLETE ✔ + Sequel

Chapter 24 - Secrets

We lay there, well through the night and into the morning, hardly speaking and staring at the stars as they slowly disappeared in the color changing sky. For a brief second I thought of how worried Bella and Kendall might be since I haven't checked my phone all night. I was much too content with where I was and how the world finally felt at peace to worry about anything.

It wasn't, of course - the world being at peace. There were so many things that weren't fixed and screamed danger in the back of my mind. Thomas and Bella, the deal that Nova had made with Bradley, being a member and somehow dealing with still having to go until I no longer wasn't and so on, but right here, right now, I couldn't think of those things. Being here, as Nova stroked circles with his thumb on my hand, there were only a few things that I could think of while lying there in the bed of the truck all night.

One, I realized that my father would not have wanted me to be miserable. The years following his death I never realized that I had actually forgotten how to love. Love was foreign and dangerous when I arrived to Monteclair because it wasn't worth the heartache that would follow if the person you loved left your life, no matter the reason.

I left New York for a fresh start. I wanted somewhere that I could start over without any kind of complications. I wanted, without realizing it, to be somewhere that I could learn to love again without being someone's caretaker. Somehow in my doubts in thinking I never could, and in spending time with the people here I learned that I never stopped.

Two, it was okay to be afraid. I had grown unbelievably numb and with that I had become ashamed of the things that I was afraid of. I was afraid of not being brave enough. My fathers' words had told me to be brave and to seek adventure but in trying to find my sense of courage, I had forgotten that fear and courage come hand and hand and that it is okay to feel both at the same time.

I looked down at Nova, beautiful and shining, as he smiled at the sky; my heart swelled with joy at the sight of him.

Three, I was in love with Nova. How I managed to deny myself of such a beautiful emotion I don't understand because right now I don't think I have ever felt anything so powerful. I didn't even want to say it out loud, I was perfectly content with saying it to myself over and over, but my heart screamed for my lips to say it to the world.

I could hear him sigh as he sat up. He looked disappointed.

"I should get you home."

I sat up, pouting. "I don't want to go." I said honestly. He chuckled softly and brushed his hand against my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear. He stared at me for a brief moment, a sparkle of amazement lit in his eyes before he spoke again, "You're so beautiful."

I looked down, blushing. I had never been called beautiful before, at least not in the way he was saying it to me now.

"You've been out all night. Are you not tired?" I shrugged.

"Not at all."

He smiled, shaking his head. "I don't believe you."

"Okay, fine." I said defeated.

After he helped me get down I walked as slow as I possibly could to the cab, wishing that time would stop right where we were. I knew as soon as this moment ends we were back in the real world where danger lingered around every corner and I wasn't ready for that just yet.

Nova held my hand the entire time he drove back to the campus and after walking me to the front doors of the dorm, he grabbed both of my hands within his and kissed them softly. I stared at him and thought that if the world ended right this very second, I would not have minded.