I Beg Your Pardon, Potter?

Chapter 37

"I'm sorry," Ron said, staring at Harry. They were sitting in the sixth year boy's dormitory, killing time before dinner. "You spent your day practicing Occlumency?"

"Yes," Harry said. "It was miserable, though I am getting better at it. What did you do?" At this, Ron blushed scarlet, his face clashing nicely with his hair.

"Not much," he mumbled. But Harry had been friends with Ron for too long to know that this meant Ron was hiding something.

"Ron," he said slowly.

"Okay, fine," Ron said. "If you really must know, Pansy and I went to the Room of Requirement." Harry nodded sagely. That explained why Ron looked so relaxed. He'd gotten laid.

"And?" Harry prompted. He had a longstanding bet with Seamus as to when Ron would lose his virginity. Not that he would ever tell Ron that. Seamus had predicted that it wouldn't be until seventh year, but Harry would never sell his best friend that short and had bet it would be before Christmas.

"You really want to know?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, mate," Harry said, even though he didn't really. "Give me all the details." They were sitting on their respective beds, across from each other. Harry pulled his legs up until he was sitting crosslegged. He leaned down and rested his head on his hands, elbows on his knees - the picture of rapt attention.

"Well, first we kissed a lot, and then-" Harry sat up, held out a hand and stopped him there.

"Ok, by all the details, I guess I mean all the pertinent details."

"Right," Ron said, turning, if it were possible, even more red. He was nearly the color of his bedspread now. "And you're sure you want to hear this?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Ron shrugged.

"Fair. Sex is sex, I guess." Harry nodded, already counting his winnings in his head. "Well, she sucked me off. Which, might I add was not like fucking an apple pie."

"I'm not sure that's how the metaphor worked," Harry muttered, but Ron carried on, ignoring him.

"Which, like, it's already great when you use your hand, you know? But it's like ten times better when it's someone else, and, uh, it's their mouth." Harry nodded. This he did understand. He understood the sex part too, but he figured it would be different with a girl. Fewer dicks for example.

"Definitely," Harry agreed.

"And, uh, well, then I returned the favor. I think. It took a while and I had no idea what I was doing." Harry nodded again. "I think it went well? She made all the right noises either way." This was starting to enter the too many details territory. And Harry was starting to wonder if he wasn't going to win his bet with Seamus today. "Then, I dunno, we went to Charms class."

"Charms class is not a euphemism, is it?" Harry asked.

"No," Ron said, then he paused and cocked his head to the side, frowning at Harry. "Why do you ask? Is this about your bet with Seamus?" Harry's mouth fell open.

"How?" he stuttered.

"Oh, Seamus let slip the other day. I appreciate the vote of confidence, mate." Ron leaned across the space between their beds and clapped Harry on the arm. "Particularly as I didn't have a girlfriend when you made the bet."

"Does this mean you have a girlfriend now?" Harry asked. Ron leaned back again and shifted nervously on his bed.

"Unsure," he said. "I haven't officially asked, you know?"

"Perhaps you should," Harry said.

"What if she says no?"

"Ron, she gave you a blowjob earlier today. I think that indicates she likes you."