Harry Potter and the Bucket List

Year 3 - 3

Beta: Cloudy

(≖‿‿≖)ノ⌒●~*

When I pondered my life prior it left a bitter taste in my mouth. The woman who raised me was not someone I could claim ever loved me. Everything she did, she did with a purpose in mind and I was no exception. If there was a time in my childhood that was different, it was so long ago I could not remember.

Clothes were laid out for me the previous night. I woke up no later than five every morning. I always arrived at school early to review work, attend a meeting for one of the clubs she chose—Student Council, Debate, Robotics—then go to school. Grades could not slip below a certain average without severe punishment. After school, it was either tutoring or clubs until it got dark outside. A cold dinner would be waiting for me as long as I was a "good" child. If the dinner was in the trash or still there in the morning she'd force me to eat before I could go to school.

Even when I left for college the grip never released. She didn't need to be there physically to control me.

It... lessened over time, or perhaps it'd be more accurate to say I stopped caring. A part of me wondered if I stopped entirely would she end me herself?

I never found out, too cowardly to try. All I wanted was my own freedom, my own life.

Seeing how drastically different Lily and James treated me compared to her was the greatest eye-opener. Had it been anyone else, had it been any less of a loving environment I wasn't sure I would have ever found the nerve to try living again.

But it was them, and I was loved. Truly, and sincerely loved.

Everything I did was by my action. I got to choose. I got to make the mistakes.

I could be whatever I wanted to be.

To lose that appreciation and revert to that hollowed life was something I hadn't even dwelled on. Confronting that fear was being thrown into a tub of ice. I didn't know how to handle it, least of all I especially didn't know how to talk to anyone about it. I couldn't admit about my past life, but constructing a convincing lie about something so sensitive to me would be difficult.

I didn't know what to do.

It wasn't something to be rushed, frantically scrambling for a resolution could make things worse.

No. The smart choice would be to let the emotions die down and reexamine it with a level head.

Hopefully Remus wouldn't pressure me.  

(≖‿‿≖)ノ⌒●~*

To get my mind off depressing stuff, I decided to move on to another one of my goals.

Spellcrafting!

"Now that I've had proper studies for a couple of years I think I'm ready to begin my misadventures into spellcrafting," I thought as I took a seat at my desk in my room.

"Spellcrafting?" Tom was intrigued. "What do you have in mind?"

"I first want to make flash-bang spell so I don't have to waste my time making the grenades," I told him. "Should be fun!"

"Flash-bang?"

"Ooo, you haven't seen one before?"

"The term is not familiar. I would assume it creates a flash with a loud noise?"