I was back in Italy, my grandfather had been generous an bought me my own home. It was just a few miles down the road from his but it gave me my own space. It also was refuge from Kimi, who as I heard has been calling my grandfathers house and sending apology gifts almost non-stop. I had a small team of maids and a nanny to help me take care of the house and the baby. I was much more at ease here in Italy. I was at home and now have plenty of help to raise my child. Luukas was right at three months old, he was not consistently sleeping through the night and was such a good baby. He looked more and more like his father every day. I wonder if he will ever have Kimi in his life, or if I will just tell him stories and we will watch daddy on TV. Maybe I shouldn’t tell Luukas about Kimi at all. I can always lie and say he was just some loser. Luukas deserves better than that though, he deserves to know his father.
I was sipping coffee and watching the Belgian grand prix on the television. Being apart from Kimi was incredibly hard. I wanted it to be easy, it should be easy to leave a man who has treated you in the way Kimi has treated me. It is not easy at all though, I want to fly to Belgium and beg for him to take me back. That isn’t right though, I deserve better. I can not, and will not be that girl who goes back to a man who treated he badly. He struck me and that is not something I can easily let go. I don’t care how much money he has, how much prestige, or how handsome he is, I will not be that girl. I find myself crying again as I see him on the TV screen. Kimi Raikkonen, I’m not sure I will ever be over you.
I hear Luukas cry and I rush up to his room to tend to him. Tallulah, his nanny is already holding the infant and his crying has already subsided. I gesture for her to hand the baby to me and she does. I rock Luukas back and forth in my arms. He looks at me intently with his glass blue eyes.
“That’s all Tullulah. You may take the rest of the day off.” I said. I needed to be alone.
“Thank you ma’am.” The Irish woman replied and then exited.
I decided to take Luukas to a nearby park. I gathered up all the things I needed and loaded him up into the Porsche SUV that had been a present from my grandfather. He had told me I needed something other than a sports car now that I was a mother. He was right, it was much easier to strap the baby’s car seat into this than into one of my Ferraris. We arrived at the beautiful park and I put Luukas into a stroller and began to push him around. It was a beautiful summer day with blue skies, a slight breeze and plenty of flowers blooming. My phone went off, and I looked down at the screen. It was Sebastian.
“Hey love.” I answered.
“I need to talk to you.” I voice that was not Sebastian’s said.
“How did you get Sebastian’s phone?” I asked irritated. I continued to push Luukas.
“He is in an interview and I swiped it from him.” Kimi explained.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” I could have hung up the phone, but I didn’t.
“Where have you been? You’re not at your grandfathers.” He asked.
“That’s none of your business.” I replied sharply.
“You can’t keep my son from me.” He growled.
“You’re keeping yourself from him.” I shot back.
“Look I know I am the one who messed this up, but I need another chance.” he pleaded. I was hoping Sebastian would realize that his phone is missing.
“You’ve had so many chances Iceman.” I said checking on Luukas. He was smiling and looking around.
“I know.” I mumbled. “I need one more, I won’t screw it up this time.”
“I don’t think so Kimi.” It was so hard denying him. I wanted to believe him, that he would be perfect from now on. His previous history would suggest otherwise though and I have to keep that in mind.
“You’re so frustrating!” he said losing his temper.
“Goodbye Kimi.” I said and hung up the phone.
When I got back home my lawyer was parked in my driveway in his fancy Mercedes. I parked my car and got Luukas out of his seat and walked over to the lawyer. He was in a well tailored black suit and wearing sunglasses.
“Miss Felisa.” he greeted.
“James, come in.” I waved for him to follow me into the house. Luukas had fallen asleep on the way home and needed to be put down for his afternoon nap. “I’m going to put the baby down and I will be right back. You can wait in the front room.”
I put the baby into his crib and tucked him under the covers. Then I returned downstairs. James Wellington our families lawyer was sitting on one of the fancy cream couches in my living room. I wondered what business he had with me. I sat down across from him.
“Can, I get you tea, coffee, wine?” I asked.
“No thank you.” he replied politely.
“Then to what do I owe this visit?” I asked curiously.
“Mr. Raikkonen is suing you.” James announced. I couldn’t believe it.
“For what?” I said once I regained my composure.
“For the rights to see his son.” James explained.
“Well there is no way he will win. He HIT me! He won’t win will he?” I asked concerned.
“Did anyone see him hit you?” James asked taking out a pen and a small notepad from the inside pocket of his suit.
“Yes, Sebastian and his girlfriend Hanna both saw Kimi slap me.” I replied. I felt bad making Kimi seem like a monster. This would ruin his career if it got out. I was mad at Kimi, but I didn’t hate him. Far from it. I couldn’t let the media get a hold of this.
“Well with that being the case it is very unlikely he will be granted any sort of custody for Luukas.” James said.
“Look, I’m going to talk to Kimi. If we can avoid going to court over this, I want to. Please hold off on anything until I contact you.” I explained. I had to get Kimi to drop this lawsuit. James agreed and left my house. Against my better judgement I picked up my phone and dialed Kimi’s number. I went into my bedroom and shut the door.
“I didn’t expect to hear from you again.” Kimi answered.
“Kimi, you have to drop this lawsuit.” I growled.
“I don’t think so. It seems this is the only way I will get to see my son.” he was stubborn.
“You won’t win. Kimi, you hit me. No judge will ever give you rights. And do you know what this would do to your reputation? Your career? You would never race again!” I said.
“I don’t care. I have to see my son! I have to try, and this is the only option you’re giving me.” he was sincere. He really wanted to see Luukas. It was so hard because I want to let him. He is willing to risk his entire career to see his son.
“I won’t let you throw away your career. Drop this lawsuit.” I said sternly.
“I need to see Luukas. I need to see you.” his voice was low and husky “If this is the only way, this is the only way.”
“Please don’t do this.” I cried, I cared too much for him to let him do this. “Look, I’ll call you later.”
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