the bad boy's scared of bugs

Chapter 19- Cancerous

M A D E L E I N E

19| Cancerous

I'm not stupid. I know what they call me behind my back.. Bitch. Harlot. Queen Bee.

And my favourite one... Powerful.

Believe it or not, I wasn't always like this. Once a upon a time I too was an innocent girl waiting for her prince to come.

Ha! What a joke.

I used to be nice. Sickly sweet. Like the overwhelming scent of vanilla in an ice cream store. Fake.

That's what I am now. I've made myself a mask to hide behind. That way I didn't care when people insulted me. After all, they were only insulting my facade, not the girl behind it. But alas, when people admired me, they were admiring my mask. The mask that I had spent hours in front of the mirror perfecting. The mask that was filled with sharp thorns and hatred. They didn't care about the real me.

As I said, I used to be kind. I used to be polite. Dainty. Lady-like.

Like Riley.

Even when we were friends, she was the kind-hearted one, the prettier one. People showered her with compliments when they would barely even glance at me. How could I not be green with jealousy? How could I not hate her?

I didn't plan to, I really didn't. I liked her at some point too. I swallowed my envy and continued being nice to her, giving her a hand when she needed it. Other people didn't know the other side of her. But I did.

But fate is evil. My destiny was doomed ever since I walked into the hospital. And looked down at the paper in my hands. I'll never forget the look on the doctor's face. The pity, the sadness. It disgusted me. My own body was rebelling against me. Even my own blood and flesh hated me.

Cancerous.

That's what I am. Quite literally too, talk about dark humour.

Stage 3 Leukaemia is what my very own fate brought me. The heavens have turned it's back. What did I do? Until that fated day, I was nicer than nice. Since that day on, I didn't care anymore. To hell with it. Who cares if the sky falls? Not me. Who cares if we all die? I certainly don't give a f*ck, I'm doomed anyways. I'll get more company when I join the other side. Maybe that's why I'm like this.

They say if you can't go to Heaven, then raise Hell. That's exactly what I'm going to do. So I broke it off with Riley and started treating my then boyfriend, who was her twin brother William like crap. Every time I looked at William I saw Riley. And I hated that. It's not my fault he fell in love with me. So I broke him too. Do I regret it?

....Do I?

As I shook myself out of my thoughts, I focused to the party in front of me. It was some guy's house party. Jordan, I think his name was. I looked down disapprovingly at the plastic cup of beer in my hands. It was too weak. I tossed the cup aside to look for some vodka.

I stumbled around, looking for the kitchen. This Jordan guy was loaded, the living room was bigger than my whole house.

"Heyyyy Maddy...wanna dance?" I turned around to see an admittedly rather attractive guy looking down at me. I gave him a well practised smirk as I struggled to remember who he was. He looked...so familiar. But I couldn't quite put a finger on it. Maybe that watery excuse of a beer was stronger than I had anticipated.

"Have I seen you somewhere?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, poking a nail into his chest. The guy laughed easily, grabbing my arm and pulling it close.

"Maybe..." he whispered.

I thought back to William, wanting the pain to go away. F*ck this. Who cares? I'll be joining him shortly anyways.

"Actually, I do wanna dance." I laughed, running my hands through my hair. My smile faded slightly as I felt a couple of small bald patches from the chemotherapy, but I fought to keep it on. I'll need to dig up my hair extensions pretty soon.

As he lead me onto the dance floor, I couldn't help but let my mind wonder back to William. He was a sweet kid, he didn't deserve it. But too bad he was Riley's brother.

She just had to ruin everything.

As I swayed to the rhythm of the loud music, tears couldn't help but fall from my eyes. My dance partner was too oblivious to even notice. I wiped them away quickly, not wanting to show any weakness. Thank god for water-proof makeup.

Before I even knew it, the boy who was dancing with me leaned in closer and closer. I wanted a distraction, any distraction would do. Without thinking, I was also leaning in.

Forget about him. Forget about him. Forget...

Suddenly, I felt disgusted. The same disgust as I looked into the doctor's pitiful gaze. The lips on mine weren't William's...

It was a stranger's.

My eyes snapped open, as I pushed the boy away roughly.

"You aren't my William." I whispered.

"Are you ok?" The guy regarded me with concern, but mostly disappointment.

"You're not William." I looked into the dark brown eyes that should've been grey instead.

"What? Of course not. Are you drunk or something? Not that I mind." The boy moved towards me again. I raised my hand to slap him but was stopped by a shrill cry.

"Jacob? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU PICKED HER? OUT OF ALL PEOPLE?" My face switched to the distressed girl behind Jacob.

Natalie?

It suddenly all made sense, I looked at the crying redhead and back at Jacob. Ahh...that Natalie. Riley's current best friend. No wonder the boy looked so familiar. Jacob rushed towards her.

"No, babe! It isn't what you think. It was an accident, I swear!" He begged.

"Why did you pick HER? Out of all people? HER?!?!" Natalie bawled, looking at me angrily. I pushed away my own sadness and gave her a smug smile. After all I was the Queen Bee, the ultimate mean girl of the school. I built myself that reputation and I'm going with it.

"What? Jealous that he had a better time with me than you?" I sneered, letting venom wrap around my words with ease.

"YOU!" Natalie accused, before going breaking down again and running off in the parting crowd. Jacob sighed and ran after her.

I gave a look of disgust after him and sashayed away. I did it to not only convince the onlooking crowd that I was heartless, but also to convince myself.

Can't have me forgetting my mask, can I?

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A/N: WHOO I'M ON A ROLL!!!!! Also, this chapter was one of the most cancerous chapters I've ever wrote (pun unintended), so that would explain the cringe factor.

Anyways, I'm off to...well...do stuff I have no idea about.

BYEEE

SassyRoyal xx

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