Comeback

~ Chapter 33 ~

Chapter 33

Saturday September 17th

Harry's POV

I didn't even know where to begin when I think about last night.

When I showed up at Lennon's doorstep that first night, I never expected her to actually hear me out and allow me to be a part of Theo's life again, even though that was my goal. It was what I wanted so badly, but it seemed so far out of reach with how much she seemed to hate me and wish I wasn't there.

But she changed her mind.

Because that's Lennon. She's too good for this world.

It was so surreal to be in their house, playing trains and eating dinner with my son. Lennon was right, he does look just like me. Seeing it in the pictures of Lennon's house is one thing, but actually being right in front of him was crazy. His eyes were just the perfect shade of green, and his curls now rested almost to his shoulders.

Hearing him talk was a whole other level. Before I left, Theo was still newly one years old so his talking consisted of babbles and the occasional mama and dada. It was never any actual words, and even though he barely opened his mouth last night, the first little hello he told me almost made me go into cardiac arrest.

Just seeing him be so grown up was life changing. It was an awful reminder of how much of his life that I missed out on, but I can't focus on that. I need to push through that mistake that I made and do better, and focus on the fact that my son is almost four years old. He's obviously changed so much since I last saw him and he's grown into a whole person now. It's crazy to me.

Lennon was definitely right to tell me about how severe Theo's shyness and reservations were before I came over. It was good that I had that already in my head, so that I didn't panic or get upset when I showed up and he refuses to interact with me. That's the other thing about Lennon, she's almost always right.

In all seriousness, it was a good call.

I was still a little upset about some other parts of our conversation from the other night, but I understood why Lennon is playing it out this way. It definitely hurts, but I've accepted that this needs to be done on Lennon and Theo's terms. They're the ones who need to be in control.

What I wasn't expecting was Lennon to tell me about how close Theo had grown to her new partner. The fact that Theo called him 'dad' was a slap in the face. Not because it's wrong or rude, but it's a reminder of how badly I fucked up that my child resorted to thinking someone else was his dad. It should've been me, and it wasn't.

I was really sorry to hear about her fiancé. Lennon and Theo didn't deserve something like that from the universe. I had put them through enough and for a second time that love was torn away from them. Lennon is always so strong, and she shouldn't have to be. Doing what I did shouldn't have happened either, but the fact that her fiancé died and she's still carrying on raising 3 small children is something I couldn't picture myself doing. I was a coward when I had 1 child, never mind 3. Dealing with all that grief and still having to get up each day and be the best mom to the kids...that's why Lennon is the best mom in the entire universe.

Personally, it was also a bit strange to have the twins there last night. It obviously used to just be Theo, Lennon, and I at our old apartment hanging out, eating dinner, and stuff like that. Flash forward and now there's 2 more people involved. The twins are adorable however, and I was secretly very happy that Lennon felt comfortable with me holding them and interacting with them. I know it's because they're little and don't really have a grasp of the world yet, but Lennon of course didn't have to let me near them either. Our whole situation was strictly for Theo.