September 26, 2019
Dear Diary,
Today has been one of the most challenging days for me. I've made a decision that I hope is the right one. Before embarking on any adventure with Taehyung and fulfilling his precious bucket list, I decided to consult my doctor.
Of course, I had to lie to Taehyung about my whereabouts. I told him I was going out to meet a friend, but the truth was I was heading to the hospital. I didn't want Taehyung to worry or come with me; he deserves to enjoy our time together without the burden of my health on his shoulders.
The visit to the hospital was unsettling. My breathing has worsened, and the pain in my chest is becoming unbearable. Each anxiety attack feels like the last, and I know I can't keep putting off medical care.
The doctor advised me to get admitted to the hospital due to the severity of my condition. I tried to negotiate, telling the doctor about our plans to go to Daegu to fulfill Taehyung's wishes, but the doctor was firm. He explained how crucial it was for me to take care of myself and not delay treatment.
However, I couldn't help but beg him to let me go on this trip with Taehyung. I promised him that once we return, I will not waste any time and get admitted.
My eyes must have reflected the desperation within me because the doctor eventually agreed, but not before giving me strict instructions. I have to take my medicine on time, avoid physical and mental stress, and he even gave me a pump in case my breathing problems worsen.
So, it's settled. We are finally going to Daegu for a week, and I hope my illness won't cut this trip short. I want to cherish every moment with Taehyung during this time. I know it won't be easy, but I'll try to hide my pain and discomfort, just so Taehyung can have the best time of his life.
But beneath all the excitement and anticipation, there's a hint of fear. What if my condition worsens during our trip? What if I can't fulfill all of Taehyung's wishes? I want to make him happy, to see his eyes light up with joy, but I also need to take care of myself.
I will stay strong, for Taehyung, for myself. I hope this trip will be everything Taehyung dreams of and more. And when we return, I promise to face reality and take the necessary steps to get better. Until then, I'll treasure every moment and pray for the strength to endure.
With hope and love,
Jungkook
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