Chapter Fifty-Three

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I don't know what to do about Colton. It's Wednesday and I haven't talked to him. He's messing with me. I've been hanging out with Bryce but things are kind of off because of me.

I think Bryce is noticing it.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks. We're in Biology. I think Burton stopped caring that I sit next to Bryce.

"Nothing," I say. "I'm all good."

"You're quiet, distant," Bryce tells me. "Don't tell my that you're just thinking."

"I...I don't know. It's just one of those days I guess," I say. I glance at Colton. He meets my gaze and I look away.

"Has he been bothering you?" Bryce asks, looking at Colton. He's mad, protective.

"No, Colton...he's...he hasn't been bothering me," I say. The bell rings and we walk to Bryce's car. He gave me a ride to school this morning.

"You're hiding something from me," Bryce says.

"Bryce, I don't want to fight," I say as we get in the car.

"It's about him, isn't it?" Bryce asks. "What? Do you still like him or something?"

"I don't like Colton," I say. Bryce looks at me.

"What are you hiding?" he asks.

"Nothing! I'm not hiding anything." But I am. I don't know why, but I almost feel guilty about me and Bryce even though I shouldn't. Bryce is silent the rest of the drive. He parks in front of the house.

"Do you regret what we did? Do you regret us?" Bryce asks.

"No, I don't regret anything," I tell him.

"Then what?"

"I just...I feel a little bit guilty." I'm staring at the floor.

"Why? About Colton? He doesn't deserve you, Andy," Bryce says. "He cheated on you and you feel guilty. He's not good enough for you. And yet, he cheats and you go running back to him."

"No, Bryce, that's not it-" I start but he cuts me off.

"Did I even mean anything to you? Were you using me to make him jealous?" His eyes are burning. I know him well enough to know that he's not angry, he's hurt.

"That's not true, Bryce. It was never about Colton. I...I..." I trail off. I don't know what to say.

"You what, Andy?" He's begging me to say something but I don't know what to tell him. "Christ, I'm such a fool. Get out."

"Bryce, please, don't do this," I say.

"Get out," he says, "We're over."

"If that's what you want." I grab my bag and get out of the car. He speeds away and my eyes burn. I don't know why it hurts. A tear rolls down my face as I push inside the house. Fuck, I hardly ever cry. I drop my bag and fall down into the couch. I hug a pillow as tears fall from my eyes. I don't know why I'm crying.

It feels like Bryce and I are over before we ever really started. He meant something to me. And now he's gone.

"Hey, Andy! Brandon wants to know what you want for dinner!" Cross hollars as he walks into the living room. "Oh, shit. Are you okay?"

"Fuck off," I mutter.

"Wait, are you crying? You never cry," Cross says. He sits on the edge of the couch.

"Fuck off, Cross," I say.

"Fuck," he mutters. "Yo, Brandon, Flemings! Get in here!" he yells.

"Seriously bro," Flemings starts, stopping when he sees me. "Oh, shit. Andy, are you okay?"

Brandon walks in. "What's up? Oh, you okay, Andy?'

I sit up and rub my eyes. "Jesus, could you stop asking me if I'm okay?" I say. Flemings coughs and hits Brandon.

"So, uh, what's the matter?" Brandon asks.

"Nothing," I mutter.

"Who's the guy?" Cross asks.

"No one. It's not important. I'm just emotional," I tell them.

"Just tell us who the guy is so we can go and beat the motherfucker," Flemings says. I laugh and wipe my eyes.

"You guys wouldn't risk damaging your hands," I say. Cross shrugs

"We could use golf clubs," he says. I laugh.

"You guys are crazy," I tell them.

"Crazy-amazing," Flemings says. "So, do you want Chinese food or pizza?"

"We only have takeout. Can't you guys cook?" I ask. They all shake their heads.

"Can you?" Brandon asks.

"I'm eighteen, still a kid. I don't need to learn how to cook yet," I tell them.

"I'm still a kid," Flemings says.

"Dude, you're twenty-seven," Cross says. Flemings rolls his eyes.

"Whatever, man. Pizza it is," he says. Brandon walks back into the kitchen to order food. Cross ad Flemings sit on either side of me on the couch. "What do you wanna watch?" Flemings asks. I shrug.

"I dunno. Maybe like Saw or something," I say. Cross shakes his head.

"What about 50 Shades of Grey," Cross says. I shake my head.

"I'm not watching that with you guys again," I tell them. Flemings sighs.

"Mean Girls?" I grin.

"Sounds perfect."

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