reminiscence

Six

I sat on the cold bench outside as the sun was down. Theos statement caught me off guard. Theo resembles Niall so much that it immediately brought back to many emotions that I've been hiding for years. So many memories of our childhood when there wasn't an awkward feeling in the air, when we kept each other's secrets, when we spent every waking moment together. I wanted so much for that to return but we have grown apart.

"Bells?"

I snap my head around to see Niall standing in the doorway. I quickly whipped my frozen tears.

" Fuckin hell its cold! You must be freezing!" He took his taupe sherpa jacket and placed it around my shoulders without thinking twice.

"Thanks" I mumbled as he took a seat next to me on the bench.

" I'm sorry about Theo, he doesn't think.."

"No ,no Theo's a child, he didn't upset me, I'm fine"

"Then what is ?" He raised an eyebrow at me

"Nothing"

"Bells I've know ya since nappies, something is wrong"

My tears threatened to spill again. "I miss us" I whispered

He turned to look at my watery eyes. His face dropped.

"I miss playing in the yard, texting all night, gossiping at sleepovers, you chasing all the boys who ever laid an eye on me away, Everything! We were so close Niall, my best friend, what ever happened?"

He opened his mouth to speak but I interrupted.

"I know we grew up, you were busy, I've heard it all but was it that hard to text back a "talk to you later" or "I'm busy" or hell even " leave me alone forever" I just need a reason

"I was busy touring the world Bella! I'm sorry I didn't have time for you. But I'm here now. Does that not mean anything to you!" Niall roared back.

The screen door opened. Theo and
Niall's mom walked outside. The atmosphere quickly changed. I didn't want them see me crying or Niall getting upset.

"There they are!" Theo ran to Niall tackling him.

I quickly wiped my tears as they were distracted.

"come on in, dinner is ready " Maura said motioning us inside.

I quickly pushed by her not to look back at Niall or the tears would begin again. I took my seat next to my Mom at the dinner table. She turned and smiled.

"Hey sweetheart"

"Hi Mom"

I must reak of heartbreak. When she turned to me her smile faded.

"What's wrong hunny?"

"It's just been a very long day, Hudson got benched and he's upset about it. He might even be done and I don't know what we will do then. I don't make enough at the pub to keep us afloat"

"Oh hunny you know I'm here to help"

" thanks mom but you have yourself to take care of. I'm an adult I got this"

"Just please don't worry much, you know what that does to you" her sweet smile returned and she reached over to hug me.

I stirred around my supper. Trying to avoid eye contact with Niall who was sitting directly across from me.

" Do you not like it hun?" Maura asked as she started to clear the table.

" no! You're a wonderful cook. I'm just not hungry"

"Thanks hun but you can always be honest" Maura said rubbing my back.

Niall chuckled as I blushed. I really was telling the truth. My stomach couldn't handle much more today. Maura took my half eaten plate.

"Bells, will you at least look at me?"
I couldn't make eye contact with Niall. I just shook my head.

"May I be be excused?" I said to my mom

" of course hunny"

I quickly walked out the front door and to my moms house. I stormed up the stairs. I fought with Niall's jacket to get it off my shoulders and onto the floor. I just felt like screaming. Tears started to stream down my face. He doesn't care about me. I've lost him. I really lost him.