reminiscence

Sixty Three

I feel like we need this today. Stay safe everyone. If you're struggling and scared so am I. I'm here to talk if anyone needs it.

Thank you for the support as always. ❤️
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The sun was setting as I finally got the energy to climb down from my bunk. I haven't moved from my bed since finishing my lunch Niall brought me. I curled up under the plaid blankets eventually giving my mind a rest and taking a well needed nap.

What Niall admitted to me kept replaying in my mind. He didn't want to hurt me. That's why he pushed me away, forcing himself to stop kissing me in the closet.

Again this was my fault. I felt extremely guilty for making Niall feel this way. I was broken. Niall didn't deserve to put up with me. This just gave me another reason to give up and pushed my feelings aside.

I gathered my plate and walked down to the kitchen. As I begin cleaning my dishes I glanced around the living area seeing none of my friends. I wonder where they went as it was now dark out. There hike couldn't have lasted that long?

The sound of guitar strumming from outside caught my attention. The sound of Niall's soft singing voice following.

Barefoot and a bottle of wine
You can stay with me tonight

I walked closer to the sliding glass door that was cracked open. The sound of Niall's singing get louder as I stepped out into the backyard.

You don't have to change when I'm around you
So go ahead and say what's on your mind
On your mind

Niall sat at the bench in front of the lake. A guitar in his lap his back facing me not knowing I was standing feet away.

When you're with me, no judgement
You can get that from anyone else
You don't have to prove nothing
You can just be yourself
When you're with me, no judgement
We can get that from everyone else
And we don't have to prove nothing
When you're with me, no judgement

The words he was singing brought tears to my eyes. This was about me. I immediately recognized the meaning behind them. The lyrics sent a chill down my spine the minute they left his lips.

He was singing about the night I told him I had feelings for him. How I didn't have to feel nervous around him. I could feel safe. He wasn't judging me for my past.

Even though we don't talk for a couple of months, yeah
It's like we didn't lose anytime
I can be your lover or your shoulder to cry on
You can be whoever you like (oh)

The view of Niall with the lake was one of the prettiest things I've ever seen. The moonlight hitting his jaw perfectly.

Tears were now forming in my eyes as I sat next to him on the bench causing him to look at me but keep singing. I could hear the emotion and roughness in his voice as he looked deep in my eyes.

When you're with me, no judgement
You can get that from anyone else
You don't have to prove nothing
You can just be yourself
When you're with me, no judgement
We can get that from everyone else
And we don't have to prove nothing
When you're with me, no judgement
Ohh, we don't have to prove nothing
Mhm, when you're with me, no judgement

He closed his eyes drawing out the last note in a high note. Tears now streaming down my face.

I couldn't believe he wrote a song about me.