reminiscence

Thirty-Four

"Oh no" Desi playfully whined refilling a drink order for a customer "he looks so hot today. I'm not going to get any work done"

I laughed catching her starring at Aidan. "You can't say that about every man Desi"

She rolled her eyes placing her drinks on her tray. "That was before I met the perfect one"

"Perfect? Really after one date. You need to give me every detail" I rambled filling my drink orders as well.

"I'll give you every burning detail tomorrow at the party"

"The party?" I questioned having no clue what she was talking about
"Yeah at Connors....  " she furrowed her eye brows together confused "he didn't tell you?" She acted surprised at me not knowing what she was talking about.

"No I wasn't invited"

"I'm sure you are Bella" she sighed "He's probably just been to busy to tell you. I looked around at the small crowd in the pub right now. Finding Connor leaning against a empty booth yawning.

"So busy" I sarcastically remarked
"Well I'm inviting you. I'll pick you up at 7" she started taking her drinks to her customers "No excuses!" She called as she walked away from the bar.

At the end of the work day I threw myself in my bed. I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep. Lately I've been having trouble sleeping. Trying everything from counting sheep to taking sleep medicine and nothing was working. Maybe it was because of stress or the awful nightmares I kept having.

After a few hours of laying awake I decided I wasn't going to get much rest. I made my way down the kitchen quietly so I didn't wake Niall. Seeing him passed out on the couch were he has slept for the past few weeks. I felt terrible taking his room away but he insisted.

Once I reached the kitchen I opened the drawer full of tea bags. Finding the best one to induce sleep. Deciding on a  chamomile tea, something my grandma use to make me as a child.

Now to find a mug. Lucky for me Maura has a mug collection. Every Christmas I would get her a mug because I knew it was something she loved. I opened the cupboard full of colorful mugs. As I reached for one, a soft snore came from Niall making me jump. My grip slipping and dropping the mug. It shattering in pieces as soon as it hit the tile flooring.

"Fucking hell" I heard Niall groan from the couch "What's going on?" Niall now running to meet me in the kitchen.

"Sorry" I apologized looking at his sleepy eyes "I was trying not to wake you"

"It's ok" He said. Our voices still in a whisper so we didn't wake anyone else.

"This wasn't one of your mom's favorites was it?" I bent down picking up the broken pieces of mug.

"Uh no.. well I don't know I can't tell which one it was. Someone smashed it to bits"

"Funny Niall" I sent him a glare. He only softly smiled before helping me clean up. I grabbed a new mug this time not dropping it and continued to make my tea. A yawn escaping my mouth.
"How long has it been since you slept?" He rubbed his eyes leaning on the counter. Signaling to me that he was tired as well.

"Haven't slept good in a few weeks" I stirred my tea before taking a sip. Hoping the warm liquid would work it's magic. "I've tried everything but nothing's working" I sighed

"Is it the nightmares?" he asked taking a step closer to me. He knew the answer already. I know he did. I could tell by his concerned face.

"Yeah I guess so. I mean every time I shut my eyes," I took a slow breath trying to hold in my cry. Niall places a hand on mine resting on the counter giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Every time" I repeated " I see Hudson. And his words. I know they aren't true. I can tell myself that over and over. But the memories just flood back. The words hurting  so much. I feel the pain again just like I did the first time. I'm tired of it. The stress is just to much" I pulled my hand out of Niall's. Pouring the tea left in my cup down the drain before rinse if out the mug. "I'm sorry, just go back to bed Niall. Ill be fine" I said walking up the stairs, back to bed.

"Are you crazy Bella?" He followed behind me sitting on the bed once we entered his room. "I'm not going to leave you alone once you just said that"

"I'm fine Ni" I grumbled repeating myself

He patted the spot next to him on the bed. Lifting the covers.
"Come here" I did as I was told scooting into bed next to him. Pulling the blankets over our bodies.

" I'm sorry for taking you're bed away from you. The couch didn't seem too comfortable"

"Would you quit apologizing" he playfully whined making me smile slightly "You don't need to be sorry for anything"

I laid down completely feeling tired all of sudden. The tea must have worked it's magic. Or maybe it was because Niall was near me. I know nothing would happen with him next to me. I felt safe.

He laid on his side to face me. Our body's still miles apart. " I'll lay with you until you fall asleep. Scare the nightmares away"

"Because you're so scary Niall" I yawned.  He quietly chuckled. The deep noise forming goosebumps on my skin. We've shared a bed before but this time it felt completely different. My heart beating more witch never happened before when we shared a bed. Maybes it's because we were older or I was still healing from being broken. I didn't know my feelings all over the place.

I turned me back towards him. Shaking my thoughts of him being so close out of my head.  I shut my heavy eyes letting myself fall to sleep. Just before I was asleep I felt the bed shift signaling Niall has gotten up. I shot my eyes open reaching for him.

"Stay, please" I whispered half asleep. Niall obeyed.  Climbing  back into bed next to me. I decided to close the space between us. Crawling  over to him, curling into his chest. He hesitated but put an arm around me pulling me in tight.

"I'm here, I'm always here" he whispered placing a kiss to my forehead.