reminiscence

Thirty- One

(This is kind of how I see the picture. But with Niall and Bella obviously)

I looked at Niall. Hands gripped to the steering wheel. He glanced to me acknowledging my stare.

"You alright"

"Yeah I guess"  I continued starting. Reality not hitting me yet. Niall punching Hudson was something I would have never imagined. I've never seen him so angry. He wasn't a violent guy.  Niall was such a gentleman. Never starting any fights. To see him punch someone was affecting me. Especially because he did it to protect me. "I just didn't know you had that in you"

"There's a lot you don't know about me"

"I guess you're right" I breathed watching the trees fly by for the rest of the drive.

Niall set me down on his bed. The first aid box in his hand.

"Let's look at that foot" he bent down in front of me to sit on the floor. Pulling my foot in his lap once he was sitting. As soon as he touched my wound I whimpered in pain.

"Sorry love" he examined the wound more "Shit, this isn't just a scratch"

"It's ok Niall"

"No it's not fucking ok" he took out a bottle of alcohol to clean my wound "This should have never happened" he poured the liquid on my foot. It began to sting but I fought the pain. Numb from what has already happened tonight. I wasn't sure if I could take it any more.

"It's my fault Niall"

"Stop saying that Bella" He began picking out a few shards of glass still stuck in my foot. "It's no ones fault but Hudson's. He did this to you. It's on his hands."

"But if I didn't pester him or be so annoying none of this would have happened" I mumbled as he begin wrapping my foot.

"You're wrong sweetheart " he sighed finishing wrapping my foot before sitting on the bed next to me. "You are the farthest thing from annoying." He took my hand in his " Please believe me when I say none of this is your fault."

I nodded laying my head on his shoulder. Letting my eyes shut as tears formed.

"Thank you Niall, for everything"
"Don't thank me, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you"
"No really" I sat up straight so I could look at him. Hoping seeing his face would help me form my words. "Do you know why I kept that picture with me?"

He shook his head. Looking down at our hands intertwined.

"I kept it because when I look at this," I pulled the picture from my pocket, now crumbled. " I feel safe. When I'm with you I feel safe Ni"
He squeezed my hand slightly before letting go to wipe a tear that fell from his eye. The first time I saw his emotion for the night. I could tell he was holding it back. Trying to be strong. I pulled him into a hug.
"And I'm sorry for getting upset with you the other day. I need you Niall. I need you to protect me. Today just proved that. Where would I be if you weren't there for me?"  My words flowing out of my mouth with out thinking. All my worries being told.
"I'm never going to let anything happen to you again Bella" Niall whispered into my hair before placing a kiss to the top of my head "I'm sorry I should have never told Connor. I'll take a step back. I just dont want anyone to hurt you"

"What am I going to do Niall?" I whispered into his chest feeling him play with my hair to comfort me "I don't have a place to live, I've been a terrible friend, and I have no one who loves me"

"Don't say that Bells" he shifted so he could see my face better "you have me"

"A few months ago I didn't"  I frowned my body shaking from my cries
"But you do now" he frowned " I'm not losing you again"

"Stop it Niall" I rolled my eyes standing up forget about my hurt foot. I stumbled. Niall quickly catching me by my hips 

"Careful love"

"Im okay" I mumbled hobbling over to the door

"You're not staying?" He asked concerned standing up to join me.

"Uh ...I didn't know I could" I stuttered wiping my eyes

"Bella" he sighed "You can always stay"

"Thanks" my body started shaking as I sat back down on the bed. As soon as I sat down I gave up. Letting my tears flow again. I couldn't stop crying.
"I'm a mess!" I screamed between sobs. "I don't even know how to feel. One minute I'm so angry the next I'm bawling my eyes out. I can't breathe." I clinched my chest having a full on panic attack.

"Shhh" Niall hushed me. Crouching in front of me trying to catch my gaze. He placed his hands on my knees rubbing them to comfort me. "Darling take a deep breathe please"

I did as I was told. Taking a deep breath with Niall. My body slightly calming "Bells, relax, I'll get you some comfortable clothes to sleep in. That will help" he patted my knees before walking over to his suitcase. He handed me a T-shirt and shorts.

"Thanks Ni" I stood up taking the clothes from him

"No problem" he pulled me into a hug "you're safe now"

"Am I Niall?" I remembered Hudson's word. Playing over in my head.

"Yes, you're with me." He picked up the picture that was now thrown across the room and placed it on top of the clothing pile in my hand. I sent him a small smile knowing he listened to me and cared "Now please get some rest love. You need it"

"I'll try" I whispered "I don't know how well that's going to go"

"If you need me, I'll be on the couch" he gave me a smile before leaving the room.

"Thanks again Ni, Goodnight"