reminiscence

Fourteen

"Niall?" I said scooting close to him. Half the movie was over. I wasn't sure if I could handle anymore blood and darkness. The gin was really hitting me by this point and I'm sure it was hitting Niall to as we emptied an entire bottle between us.

"Yeah bells?" Niall turned to me scooting closer as well.

"What happened to us?" I looked into his eyes. Red brimming his normal blue. "I'm trying and I know your trying but it doesn't feel the same, why is that?" Tears where brimming my eyes.

"Can't we just move on? Forget about the past? You have brought it up numerous times tonight" He sat his glass down on the coffee table next to the empty bottle of gin.

"I can't Niall, I'm sorry. You were my best friend. If we would have just stayed in contact.."

"Fuck!" He interrupted me by raising his voice slightly "I was busy Bella" he stood up in front of me "can't you see that. I wasn't just sitting around waiting for you to call, I was touring the fucking world! Following my dreams!"

"Stop being a cocky asshole Niall!" I stood up getting in his face "I'm sorry I'm a pathetic loser and not cool enough for you!" Hudson's words from earlier flooded my brain. "I'm sorry I'm holding on to the past! I miss us Niall, with out this awkward tension" I slammed my empty glass down "you can go return to you're new famous friends and leave me behind. Like you do best" I stormed off up the stairs and into the bathroom slamming the door. I slide my back against the door crouching on the floor. Tears running down my face now. Hudson was right I was so stupid to think that everything can go back to normal. Every time we get close something feels wrong and pulls us apart more. Suddenly I got a pain in my stomach and crawled over to the toilet. I emptied my stomach as I heard the door open.

"Fuck off Niall" I said between tears my head in the toilet but he just knelt behind me pulling my hair away from my face.

"Bells I didn't mean to raise my voice, you misunderstood me" he said as I continued to empty my stomach before sitting back. My head spinning not sure if it was from the alcohol or the current situation we were in.

"Niall" I sighed putting my head in my knees.

"Remembering the past pains me Bella" he sighed rubbing his forehead "I'm the idiot, I wish I would have just texted you back once" I looked up at him catching his bloodshot eyes "I don't know what I was thinking, I guess I just thought you were better off without me. If you just moved on" He rubbed my back easing my pain slightly

"Do I look better off without you?" I tried catching his gaze "look at me Niall"

"Yeah actually" he ran his fingers through his hair "you got your job, you have Desi, met Hudson,"
I sighed. If he only knew. I pushed myself up off the floor. Stumbling a little catching myself on Niall's shoulder.

"Careful there love" he slightly laughed using me to stand up "You're drunk" a flashback of blonde haired Niall telling me the same thing. Butterflies took off in my stomach. I steadied myself on the sink counter.

"Thought I drained it all out" I tried taking a step towards the door but wobbling over again. My head still spinning. Niall warped his arms around me catching me.

"I've got you" he led me to a familiar room across the hall, his childhood bedroom. It looked exactly like it did the day he left. Besides a few pictures and awards I'm sure Maura put in there. The walls were plastered  with football posters, his dresser was littered with guitar picks, and on the floor was a few suitcases that I'm sure he has been living out of for the past few weeks.

"You can sleep in here, I'll take the couch" Niall walked over to the bed moving a guitar off and leaning it against the wall. He then bent down to his neatly organized suitcase searching for something. I throw myself on the bed with a groan making Niall turn to me and laugh. I continued starring at the ceiling, remembering all the sleepovers we have had in this same room; Cuddling up on his bed, watching movies, listening to each other talk about crushes, and even watching Niall write his first songs in his notebook. Niall found what he was looking for and throw them at me catching me off guard. I looked down at a pair of boxers and a Nike T-shirt. Even when we were younger I would never pack pajamas, always stealing some of Niall's as they were more comfortable.

"Thank you" I smiled at him sitting up slowly

"Yeah no problem, notice you didn't pack anything like usual"

I smiled getting up on my wobbly feet. "Didn't even think of it to be honest, just figured I would steal something of yours"

"Good, I guess some things never change" he flashed a smile at me walking towards the door.

"Goodnight Niall" I said rolling my eyes

"Night Bells, sleep it off "

As soon as he left the room I quickly changed into the clothes he gave me. Attempting to fold my dirty clothes but just ending up throwing them in a pile. Finally I climbed into bed pulling the covers over me. The familiar scent of Niall overtook me bringing tears to my eyes. Will we ever feel normal again? I wasn't sure. Maybe this is the new normal between us. I hope someday it will return but we are both adults now going our different way in life. Him following his dreams, becoming more successful, and me staying in my comfort zone, or more like hell. Niall was right I needed to quit holding on to the past. My eyes felt heavy as I began drifting to sleep.

The sound of arguing made me jolt awake. My vision blurry from a mix of alcohol and tiredness. I throw the covers off me and made my way to the top of the stairs hearing Hudson voice below

"I know she's here!" he was standing at the door furious

"She's sleeping mate, don't be so loud" Niall's voice was calm as he stood in front of him. But it didn't work as Hudson pushed by entering the house even more furious.

"She can sleep at my place, I'm taking her home, ARABELLA!" He called making me jump. I decided to start making my way down the stairs. Niall crosses his arms over his chest As I made it to the last step I tripped missing the last step. Hudson and Niall both turned there attention to me. They both reached there hands out to me but Hudson caught me. His grip stronger and  more aggressive then Niall's.

"I-I'm F-fine" I slurred. I looked up at Hudson his face bright red with anger and teeth clenched.

"We're going home" he yanked my arm slightly towards the door. "Bye pub boy" he said before dragging me out to his car. Not letting me say my goodbye.