reminiscence

Forty-Eight

It was later in the afternoon. Everyone leaving me so I could get some well deserved rest. Lucky some of my strength is back.

I stood in Niall's bedroom in front of the full mirror only in a sports bra and my track shorts. It was time to change my bandage. The current one I have been wearing for a few days. I gather my supplies before peeling my bandage from my stomach. Reviling a stitches across my side.

"Shit" I held back my tears looking at my dark bruises. Something I have seen before but I thought I got rid of the moment I left Hudson. I knew this was going to leave an ugly scar. I looked terrible.

"You have to go get your stitches removed in a week" Niall now standing behind me holding my new bandage. I didn't hear him come in.

I jumped turning to him " knock please next tine... You scared me"

"Sorry I did knocked and you didn't answer" he grabbed my hand pulling me to the bed "Sit down, I'll help ya"

"I can do it myself Niall" I sigh but obeyed. Listening to him and sitting on the edge of the bed

He ignored me and ran a finger over my stitches causing me to flinch. He quickly looked up at me.
"In the future you could always say you got in a fight with a shark" he laughed at his own joke

"That was not funny Ni. Do you ever stop joking for one fucking minute?"

"Well the other option is facing my feelings and crying, so no" he sighed covering up my stitches with a new bandage. Sticking it on lightly.

"Niall" I sighed as well "you know none of this is your fault right?"

"But it is Bella" he took a seat next to me " If I wasn't so caught up in Candy, she wouldn't have been so obsessed with hurting you."

"Hudson hurt me" I corrected him in a soft tone

"But Candy found Hudson. She wanted to cause you pain. She was jealous of you Bells"

"I don't understand... she was jealous of me?"

I still couldn't understand how she was jealous of me. I was jealous of her. Desi trued explaining to me weeks ago why she was acting up. Now Niall but I still couldn't wrap my head around it.

"Bella do you not see how our friendship must look from the outside?"

I shook my head no, looking over at him.

He sighed "Normal friends don't act the way we do"
The sentence I've been hearing from everyone was now coming from Niall's mouth.

"Because we've been friends since we were baby's" I furrowed my eyebrows trying to make sense of what he is implying
" That's not it and you know it"

My head began spinning hearing these words from Niall. I couldn't believe what he was saying. I leaned forward leaning my head into my hands. Letting my brain rest for a moment.

I sighed getting up and retrieving my pain killers. Hoping to kill off the headache now forming.

What was Niall saying? Was he having the same feelings I was? I was so confused. I sat down back in my spot next to Niall after swallowing my pills.

"How did you find out Hudson was at the party?" I asked the question he's been avoid since that night.

"Bella" he sighed now brushing a strand of hair out of my face that feel from my messy bun "it doesn't matter now it's over"

"You probably were fucking Candy huh?"

I immediately regretted what I said covering my mouth. My cheeks growing red as apparently these pain killers made me speak without thinking

Niall was frozen. His mouth open in shook at what I just said. He pulling his hand away slowly from from my hair letting it drop to his lap.

"Sorry ... I didn't mean ... well I did mean it... but I didn't mean to say it out loud" I rambled hitting myself in the forehead "God I'm such an idiot"

"No you're not"

"Fuck did I say that out loud to" I groaned falling back onto the bed. Bringing a pillow to cover my blushing face.

Niall laughed before laying down next to me. "Just surprised that came out of you're mouth. That's something I would expect from Desi. Not you"

"Maybe she's rubbing off on me" I mumbled into the pillow "maybe some of her sexiness will rub off on me to. Then I'll be fuckable"

Fuck this no filter

"Bella don't say that" Niall warned seriously.

I took the pillow from my face turning to look at him.

"What that I'm unfuckable? That's what Candy said remember and you said nothing when she said it. Why is it such a big deal now?"

"Because it's not true"

"That makes no sense Niall" I laughed smacking him with the pillow but he caught it holding it to his side

"I'm being serious" he was. His face showed no signs of humor.

"Explain it  to me then"
He stared into my eyes. In silence for a few seconds.

"Maybe when your not high on drugs and will remember it" he used my own words against me smirking

"Ok fine" I grumbled closing my eyes feeling sleepy all of a sudden anyways. "Can you sing me to sleep then?"

"Shit you're demanding" he laughed next to me

"Hey I'm only following doctor Theo's orders" I smiled my eyes still shut

"Remind me to thank him later" he laughed again before I felt him get  up to retrieve his guitar.

He sat back down leaning against the headboard with his guitar in his lap. He began strumming quietly.

"Black bird signing in the dead of night... take this broken wings and lean to fly" he sang softly

His voice putting me right to sleep. My eyes feeling heavier with every word.

"All your life.. You were only waiting for this moment to arrive ..."

I felt his fingers trace my jawline before he placed a comforting kiss in the crook of my neck.

"I love you too Bells" I heard him whisper before I drifted to sleep